Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
