I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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