Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
