In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
