32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
