Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
