i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
