as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
