I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
