dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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