There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
