do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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