It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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