Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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