dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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