I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
