Need sex. Gaining weight.
Say something about gay babies.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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