my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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