wakey wakey hands off snakey
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
