thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just tell him i said nine months
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Found the puke drawer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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