his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
