Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
