nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
