The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
