she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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