best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
