time to smoke my breakfast
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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