He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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