when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
