i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
