I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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