Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
