How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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