Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
