I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
