I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
