Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
