is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize