I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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