I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
