Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
