She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize