the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my phone needs a breathalizer
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
