He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
