my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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