Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
