Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
