please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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