But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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