I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
