Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
