Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
