I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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